This day was really good- I think mainly because it was the first day in a long time that I actually woke up well rested, was able to do a REAL work out and sweat out the icky winter feeling, and of course the fact that I didn't have to work AT ALL.

I got the urge to clean and while cleaning in my room knocked over a wax warmer thing and well ended up making a much bigger mess that i'm STILL cleaning. Thing like large jar candle all melted inside. I think i'll smell like fresh linen and my room will smell like fresh linen until april or may. I'm reallllly anxious to get home, I've been packing and getting ready since saturday. I'm really worried now though b/c my mom is sick from high blood pressure stuff and I know that 2nd graders overdue for christmas and a lot of family is not going to help any. I feel guilty being here and want to be there to help.

I walked on IU campus today and had a kumbayah moment with myself. I hadn't really walked around since I shut the campus scene out of my life late in september. After spending time at the Fiji house recently all of the feelings from the other side of the list, "Why I should stay at IU", came back to me. I have hardly seen Amanda, Alli and Sarah compared to last year, ignore calls from a lot of my guy friends b/c i'll be at wabash, and don't do the things like work out at the HPER and other things I should take advantage of. But after really thinking about it, I don't have any doubt in my mind that I will ever regret not staying at IU. I was not in student mode, and for me to realize what student mode for me is - I needed to take a break for awhile and not be forced to go through the motions. Also I have learned so much about first impressions by living with my roomates. I consider these 3 some of my closest friends and I lived an entire year next door, down the hall and across the hall from all three. I dubbed Melanie as someone I would never be close with but - that is because she and I are exactly the same person. I now know she was just distant b/c she was trying to have a life seperate than Amanda in college. I needed this year and it will be a year that I know that I will always remember it when I think about taking risks, having courage, and doing the right thing for you even when people you love the most are skeptical. I have a lot to be thankful for at the end of this year. Can you believe that my life has tailspinned SO fast? 360 days ago I was practiceing my answers on what i'm studying, and why I want to rush theta. I was blonde, not at all in the mindset of going to law school, friends with melissa bruckman, had no idea what wabash college even was. ohhhh my life. I can't even keep up with myself.